On Solitude and Silence
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"The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil" Thomas Edison
When was the last time you purposefully spent time alone, if only for a few minutes?
According to Psychology Today solitude “is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.”
Solitude is positively health-boosting and has been shown scientifically to help us feel calm and increase our self-reliance and freedom to choose activities we enjoy and value.
Solitude is a valuable part of my personal spiritual practice and enables me to eliminate distraction from everyday activities long enough to listen to the still voice within.
Solitude is my happy place, often spent in a quiet spot in nature where I can hear myself think.
Bourton House in the Cotswolds
Lately I have been reflecting on summer holidays spent on my grannie’s farm in the west of Ireland. My brother and I and all our cousins came together to enjoy the fun and freedom to be had on the farm, with space to explore and spend time together and alone.
I remember other times in childhood when I would actively seek out time in an environment where I could do what I wanted and connect to my true self and be me.
Often it accompanied spells of creativity and artistic endeavour, a state of just being in flow and allowing inspiration and ideas to incubate.
Hidcote Manor in the Cotswolds
In solitude there is a sense of autonomy, of self-reliance, of freedom from outside pressure and increased self-connection. Autonomy imbues us with a sense of wellbeing enabling us to grow and mature in healthy ways.
Time spent in solitude gives me space to reflect. It is an intentional space which allows me to process my thoughts and emotions, bringing clarity and deepening self-understanding and self-compassion.
The right amount of solitude can improve both our inner lives and our relationships with others. There is a misconception that solitude equates to loneliness but as A Course in Miracles reminds us “You can never be alone because the source of all life goes with you wherever you go (Lesson 41)”.
Solitude begins when we stop talking and start listening. To listen is to receive, to hear, to understand. There is an intimate connection between solitude and silence where I may be open to guidance and receptive to inspiration.
In my one-to-one therapeutic work it is essential that I feel comfortable with silence. Silence allows my client space to tap into deep feelings and to be held in safety while these feelings are brought to the surface for healing.
To quote Rachel Naomi Remen:
“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person
is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled
with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal.
The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest,
of acceptance of someone as they are.
We are all hungry for this other silence.
It is hard to find.
In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment,
a strength on which to build a life.
Silence is a place of great power and healing.”
How can you find time today to purposefully withdraw from people and get still enough to hear the voice within?
